Lindsay Lohan Aging 25 Years in 60 Seconds
Sadly, this all happened during the course of one single party
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20 Mugshots of Beauty Queens
Recently, a beauty queen who won Miss New Hampshire U.S.A. was arrested for fighting with her boyfriend. Oddly enough, her mug shot looks decent, which is weird because mug shot photos are the only way...
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Your Guide to this Summer’s Hottest Movies
Your Guide to this Summer’s Hottest Movies by Gloomy, the alcoholic Smurf. Gloomy here. My probation officer recommended I attempt to release some of my anger through writing, since I enjoy penning so...
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Top 5 Places Escaped Chinese Activist Chen Guangcheng Is Hiding Out
1. Inside fake North Korean missile 2. In an empty movie theater that is either abandoned or showing The Five Year Engagement. 3. On an asteroid, or at the bottom of the ocean… pretty much wherever...
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25 Celebrity Wardrobe Malfunctions
Kanye West is the most recent victim of a celebrity wardrobe malfunction. But, ever since Janet Jackson popularized the term “wardrobe malfunction” for “check out my pasty,” it’s been fashionable for...
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Top 5 Ways Octomom Will Raise $1,000,000 to Recover from Bankruptcy
1. At $7740 per kid for welfare each year, all she has to do is have 130 more kids 2. Alternately, she got paid $4,000 for each breast she showed for a British tabloid, so she could show 250 more...
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I HATE THIS FILM: An Avengers Movie Review by Bizarro Superman
I recently went to the Avengers with the intent of writing a movie review. But I already knew I was going to hate this movie before I even walked into the theater. I was standing in line, and some...
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Top 5 Ways the Dead Michael Jackson Will Be Used To Sell Pepsi
Yes, this is really happening 1. Remake “Thriller” starring a real corpse 2. Instead of his hair catching fire on-camera, they just cremate him 3. Holographic duet with Tupac at next Coachella 4....
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Top 5 Exciting Features Jay-Z Put in the Brooklyn Nets Logo
Full story here 1. “B” in “Brooklyn” made from overhead shot of Beyonce’s cleavage 2. Logo is security hologram that becomes Jay-Z rapping if you hold it at the right angle 3. Basketball in logo now...
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First 5 Things the New President of France Will Do Upon Taking Office
1. Raise the age for mandatory sex education from four years old to a much more sensible six. 2. Switch national currency from the Euro to blades of grass from his backyard. 3. Execute job growth plan...
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Politician Makes Weird Lego Star Wars Campaign Ad
This person is running for judge, which is always that last election question towards the back of the booklet. For us, these decisions are easy: We vote for whomever supports an ultra-right new world...
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Top 5 Most Likely Candidates to be Khloe Kardashian’s Father
1. That eight-foot tall, 500-pound dude Kris Jenner dated that one time 2. That incredibly hairy boyfriend Kris Jenner met at the zoo 3. The Morlock that Kris Jenner dumped the inventor of time travel...
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5 Things You Should Know Before Buying into Facebook’s IPO
1. Due to Zuckerberg mixup, each stock comes emblazoned with your name and Facebook password 2. Most stock certificates were once in a huge room with upper management swimming in them, naked. 3....
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5 Cherished Family Sitcoms (with Scenes that Censors Found too Shocking for TV)
Family sitcoms are subjected to the same fast environment as all Hollywood productions. But, because they are family-oriented, TV network censors are constantly fretting that their alcoholic writers or...
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William Shatner Repeatedly Assaults Balloon Lady in Weird-Ass Movie
For some bizarre reason, this Williams Shatner isn’t so loving to the “different looking” ladies. We don’t want to see this in context, although it would stop us from being completely baffled....
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7 Totally Awesome and Totally True Ways People Quit Their Jobs
As those hot summer months make your temperatures broil at work, we decided to revisit a classic EgoTV article about awesome quitters: So, you think that time you took a dump in the garbage can at work...
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25 Photos of Celebrities Carrying the Olympic Torch
With the Olympics kicking off on Friday, we found ourselves tuning into the torch relay only to watch celebrities. After all, they could do so much more with this idea of people running around with...
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Alex Jones Discredits Himself and That is Why I Hate Him
Alex Jones discredits himself and that is why I hate him: Alex Jones tries really, really hard to expose the often unpleasant truth about government cover-ups evil corporate agendas, and controversial...
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Talented or Idiot? [Infographic]
The post Talented or Idiot? [Infographic] appeared first on EgoTV.
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14 Celebrities Who Love To Bring Their Milkshake On The Instagram Yard
Yep, we’re talking about boobs. Celebrities love to Instagram their cleavage, and yes, we can’t help but double tap that post whenever they upload one. No need to log-in your Instagram account though,...
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